Do something

For myself, I’m finding snipping the negative thoughts as soon as possible is usually successful in turning them around. If I find myself thinking “I’m useless” and I go do something I am really good at, I feel the achievement and that overrides the negative.

It’s not always possible though. Circumstances or just being too deep in anxiety mean I simply¬†can’t seem to get up and do anything.

Two weeks ago … or was it only last week? I can’t remember. But whenever it was, I was physically unable to get out of this chair and attack the weeds in the garden. This week I’m perfectly able, willing and ready to get out there. I’m just waiting for it to get light now. That’s another issue, I don’t like being in my garden during normal daylight hours. I have some very nasty neighbours who have destroyed my confidence in so many ways and they’re my Achilles heel right now. But that’s a thought for another day. Today I’ll celebrate doing what I can.

4:22 am , 23rd May 2018

DSC_0360

Say Something

Should I write if I don’t know what to say?

I have a lot of thoughts, fragments of things that when combined, make up a full on anxiety attack. My aim is to gently pick at those fragments, write about them here and hopefully disperse them in the process.

But today no particular fragment stands out. Just the general sense of dread and doom when I think of the ball of fragments. Like a curled up armadillo.

Today I feel its best to leave the armadillo alone and ignore it. Ignoring my issues is my absolute favourite thing to do, when my brain lets me.

6:39am 16th May 2018

DSC_4837