Tonight I’m off work and my anxiety has been building. No discernible reason, just the slow bubbling cauldron got it’s heat turned up and the tar began to boil over a little. Nothing could shake it, and ordinarily a nice long 3am fast drive on empty roads would have helped but my car is a little dodgy right now, I think it’s the brakes. It’s going in on Monday anyway. But tonight I was left with the bubbling cauldron getting worse.
I’d read over the last few days that anxiety is a fight or flight response. I love chemical breakdowns of why stuff like this happens. And with anxiety, there’s rarely a fight or flight to have to see it off. So, midway through washing up I decided to go out in the rain at 5am and walk as fast as I could round the block and home again. It only took me 6 minutes but I do feel a little better. It’s about the only exercise I feel able to do… oh no, now thoughts of how useless I am for not being able to exercise are creeping in. I’ll wrap up and distract.